I want to know Christ.

 There is a sign high on the wall in my classroom at the school where I teach.

"I want to know Christ..." it reads,  in bold black lettering.

When I was moved to this classroom last year, I pondered leaving it up and decided that, yes, it should stay. This was a Christian school, after all, and what better to have on our walls than the Holy Scripture.

Also influencing my decision was the fact that I had been newly tasked with teaching middle school Bible to the seventh and eighth grade girls. 

I leapt into the year with enthusiasm and gusto - I have never lacked a magnetic draw to scripture.

But presenting it to middle schoolers, some of who did not "know Christ?" That was another story.

Now, six months later, I turn around sometimes and stare at that lettering, that prayer, and I slowly shake my head.

This has been a difficult year in my Bible class. It has been a difficult year in the middle school hallway.

If I had known how cruel and vicious middle school conversations were, I may not have stayed around. As a teacher group, we have approached the bullying and vitriol that permeates the middle school culture comprehensively. Retreat days, prayer, hallway monitoring, and more.

The enemy knows no bounds, though.

And some days, I get tired.

Many teachers, most teachers, give up. Whether or not they stay at their teaching jobs is another story, but most give up.

And often I find myself standing in front of those young minds, sponges, staring at me with wide but skeptical eyes. All I can do in those moments, even now as my fingers pen these words, is think of David. When he wrote Psalm 84, he was probably talking about himself and his own hunger for the presence of the LORD. "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere." (Psalm 84:10) Yet here the kids are, pretending like they aren't waiting for some kernel of compassion for their utterly fragile state.

 When we work three yards outside of hell, we tend to glance more at hell than the peacetime promises we are saving our students for. They are on the ground, looking to us for direction, protection, discipline, and compassion. We cannot miraculously "save" our students, but we can revere the gospel of Jesus Christ in front of them. We can arrange a school culture where they are encouraged to say "I want to know Christ," and really mean it. And we can challenge them to allow Christ to mold them into who He has called them to be, for His glory.

The only way this will become a reality is if we also are saying in prayer to God, "I want to know Christ" and really meaning it ourselves. As we draw close to Him, He will provide the manna, for us and for our students.

And then, maybe that sign on my wall will mean something. Maybe it will be a prayer students make alongside me.